i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
