writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
