If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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