I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
