this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
