My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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