I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
