so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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