We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
either way he was missing a nipple.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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