This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
