Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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