the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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