I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
