Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
