It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
