Christians are straight up FREAKS
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
thus making me awesome and them whores
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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