Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize