what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
