I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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