he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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