Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!

(650): View more from California

LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!

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(415): WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!! (650): LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops! http://tfl.nu/mj23

Replies (4) Good night (1123) Bad night (883)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

If I go to jail what happens to my debt?

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

You dont have to pay it.

(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to jail.

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(908): If I go to jail what happens to my debt? (1-908): You dont have to pay it. (908): I'm going to jail. http://tfl.nu/9by4

Replies (2) Good night (1489) Bad night (518)
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(530): View more from California

I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

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(530): I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS http://tfl.nu/jjgj

Replies (36) Good night (5014) Bad night (1425)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

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(660): I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point http://tfl.nu/7cy0

Replies (30) Good night (921) Bad night (4418)
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(406): View more from Montana

As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.

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(406): As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network. http://tfl.nu/cww0

Replies (19) Good night (5390) Bad night (906)
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(807): View more from Ontario

her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me

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(807): her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me http://tfl.nu/f0ty

Replies (15) Good night (4422) Bad night (964)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.

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(+44): We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in. http://tfl.nu/xqye

Replies (8) Good night (3798) Bad night (1000)
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(906): View more from Michigan

Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today

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(906): Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today http://tfl.nu/n5yz

Replies (7) Good night (463) Bad night (883)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot

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(608): Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot http://tfl.nu/1f93

Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (411)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.

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(303): I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION. http://tfl.nu/audf

Replies (3) Good night (1351) Bad night (388)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."

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(860): When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed." http://tfl.nu/60fs

Replies (0) Good night (564) Bad night (234)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended

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(414): Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended http://tfl.nu/wygn

Replies (0) Good night (811) Bad night (234)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Our relationship needs a sober moment

(1-719): View more from Colorado

I'll call you when that happens

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(719): Our relationship needs a sober moment (1-719): I'll call you when that happens http://tfl.nu/srmb

Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (200)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.

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(404): I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/w6a6

Replies (2) Good night (296) Bad night (417)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems

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(303): I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems http://tfl.nu/a77h

Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (223)

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