Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
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There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
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This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.