so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
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I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
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Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling