Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.

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(505): well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop. http://tfl.nu/fta9

Replies (14) Good night (5539) Bad night (721)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.

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(719): Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right. http://tfl.nu/8sag

Replies (12) Good night (4016) Bad night (945)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.

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(715): He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now. http://tfl.nu/ppv0

Replies (7) Good night (3087) Bad night (911)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy

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(609): Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy http://tfl.nu/d1ob

Replies (7) Good night (1836) Bad night (724)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!

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(910): I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT! http://tfl.nu/3dqj

Replies (9) Good night (1577) Bad night (545)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number

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(870): He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number http://tfl.nu/tvhj

Replies (7) Good night (485) Bad night (1882)
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(440): View more from Ohio

did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?

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(440): did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper? http://tfl.nu/1jid

Replies (8) Good night (1396) Bad night (413)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.

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(513): Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/71lv

Replies (2) Good night (946) Bad night (434)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER

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(412): I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER http://tfl.nu/g992

Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (411)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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(778): they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date? http://tfl.nu/4653

Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (845)
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(253): View more from Washington

If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.

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(253): If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat. http://tfl.nu/66de

Replies (2) Good night (243) Bad night (600)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.

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(610): I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work. http://tfl.nu/9c2o

Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (604)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!

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(908): When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?! http://tfl.nu/arig

Replies (3) Good night (1334) Bad night (264)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste

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(215): they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste http://tfl.nu/vto5

Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (223)
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(440): View more from Ohio

my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.

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(440): my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness. http://tfl.nu/lky4

Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (249)

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