i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy