im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
