Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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