it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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