Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
