before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.