If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm passing your future prison.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
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I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend