mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.