i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize