my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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