don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
