My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Such a big mess for such a small penis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
