i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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