i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
