highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
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I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Will exercising make me less horny?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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