I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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