dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't deserve a penis
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
