Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
