if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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