Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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