Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
