He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
