I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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