porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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