Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
