Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize