6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
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The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
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I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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