Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
