if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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