Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So vagazzling was a success
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
