I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
