I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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