We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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