How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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