Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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