You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
