then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
