he was CRYING into my vagina
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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