the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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