Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
