You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
