I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
